We all go through various trials in our life. We can either choose to move past them or be the victim. It is not easy; however, with support of a strong network and just knowing you are not alone can often make a world of difference. Dealing with a loved one that is mentally ill is a daily challenge, but there are many other life challenges as well.
Dallas offers Life and Professional Coaching for those looking to get unstuck. As a endorsed coach with 48 Days to the Work You Love and certified as a business etiquette consultant, Dallas can offer both personal insight as well as real world professional know how. To inquire about coaching, send us an email to email@example.com with the subject Coaching.
It is my mission to offer HOPE (Helping Other People Everyday™); to be the inspiration that encourages you to find your “inner frog” and leap toward the life God wants for you.
Helen shares her personal experience of working with Dallas as her coach:
Working with a trusted coach can help you uncover what is most important and clear the clutter so you can concentrate on the things that truly matter to you and your family. Remember it’s your life!
I have no one to turn to that can actually comprehend what I am going through at this point. Mom we are pretty sure is Bi-Polar. She is constantly verbally abusive and most recently had become physically abusive.
We tried to get her to admit herself into the hospital but wasn’t able to. After she through several pieces of my Grandmother’s crystal across the room at me, we had to call the police. What terrifies me is how sympathetic she appears to everyone. She tells them we abuse her, she even threatened to say my husband raped her. What terrifies me the most is that I actually think they believe her.
She has blood pressure problems and oxygen problems and passes out a lot and therefore, is covered with numerous bruises and abrasions which she is telling people we inflicted upon her. I am absolutely freaked out. She was supposed to be brought straight from jail to PCU to be committed. Instead she showed up at our door because a bail bondsman bonded her out so she could come to verbally abuse us and accost us unexpectedly at 11 pm. She is saying how she loves us and doesn’t want to be alone and then in the next sentence telling me how horrible I am.
She is destroying my life and my marriage. My therapist, my brother, my husband all say we were doing the right thing by committing her, but I feel so freaking bad. How did you ever get through the guilt, sadness and self hatred I am experiencing right now?
What did you do for your Mom’s long term care? You are the only person I know who I can seek advice from. It hurts so much, but her verbal assaults must discontinue. Sorry to drop this on you, but I am to the point of such grief and guilt I don’t know what to do.
First, my heart goes out to you more than you can imagine.
I finally had to leave my Mom’s house. I was only 18 or so, made $4 an hour and was going to school. What are the laws like in your state about getting someone committed? Has your Mom ever been on medicine before? Remember it is not your fault that your Mom is ill. There has got to be someone at the mental health center that can give you the best advice about what can be done from a legal perspective.
Regarding you and your husband you have to protect yourself. Healthy boundaries are crucial to mental wellness. If your Mom will not help herself (she may be too ill to know she needs it) you may just have to face that fact. You cannot save her if she is not willing to be saved.
You have to do the best you can and then trust that God is with you even through the dark time. What you do in this period will determine your outcome. We love our parents but if we are doing all we can (really) we have to forgive ourselves. The Bible says that we are to honor our parents, but not be continually abused by them.
If you are living with her, you need to find a way to get out. I had to finally tell my Mom that if she didn’t get help she had to leave. Yes, it was so hard, but I was helpless with the laws regarding getting her committed without her consent. And yes, they believed her for years as well, until she was homeless and attacked someone due to her paranoid episodes.
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